Facet. Defintion: noun. One side of something many-sided. Oxford dictionary.
It only takes 5 seconds to judge someone, to form an impression. Whether or not that impression remains after getting to know that person, is an entirely different matter. We all have different facets of our personalities. People are hugely complex.
We have both good and bad facets to our personalities. It is often in our nature to dwell on the negative ones. But bad traits do not make us a bad person, they do not determine who we are. They are only a facet of us. Do not berate yourself for the things you dislike about yourself, your weaknesses and mistakes, realize they are only part of you. When we accept the things we do not like so much about ourselves, that is when we can change and move towards becoming the best version of ourselves.
You cannot hate yourself into a version of yourself you love. Love is unconditional acceptance, and only once you accept yourself you can change.
Sometimes it’s very hard to believe in yourself or believe you have strengths, especially when life throws things at you and your life is not how you expected, what you wanted. If you’re having trouble see good in you, try these exercises to see if you feel any different:
- Write down two lists, one of your positive traits you are proud of, and next to it the things you dislike about yourself. Writing down all your positive traits allows you to acknowledge and appreciate them because we often don’t. Writing down aspects of yourself you dislike helps you to confront them. These things are only part of you, shadows. Once you recognise these things you can begin to accept them and change them.
- Write down all your achievements you are proud of. This will help you to see all that you have accomplished, and be motivation and a guide for you to keep striving towards your goals. When you see the things you’ve accomplished written down in front of you, you’ll realise you’ve achieved a lot more things than you thought, and have things to be proud of.
- Write down a list of the compliments you’ve received, the positive feedback from others about your strengths.
It’s not that we need external sources or other peoples’ validation or approval but the responses we get from others is a reflection of our inner self. And often we’re generous to acknowledge others’ achievements but not of our own, so other people can give us a different perspective and remind us that we do indeed have good qualities.
Read these lists often to remind yourself of your multiple facets, good and bad, and see yourself as much greater than one small part of you. This realization is refreshing, different from what we’re used to, and one that we need when we become so fixated and consumed by one aspect in our life.
Above all, always be your best self – what does that mean? Only you know the answer to this. My definition of best self will be different to yours. You must build on your strengths, one cannot build on a weakness. Different people have different personalities, facets to them and that is what makes our living experience so great.
Work towards improving yourself, on becoming the person you want to be and achieving exactly what you want in life. When life knocks you down, get back up. Remember, you are greater than the sum of your parts.
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